Uvie farm crib sheet for Alison

Alison is a farm consultant who looks after the animals when I am absent. She is tied to this obligation with chains of fire like a titan in Hades. I discovered her birth certificate in the oak desk she gave me to repair for her. She knows that I can release her birthdate, hour, minute even to an expectant world if displeased.
Apart from that, the farm and everything in it are safe in her hands, releasing me and others to get away from time to time: on this occasion it is a birthday celebration involving most of my university friends from years ago.
So here goes Ali, with thanks:
Billy and the expectant mothers are up at the new shed. The morning routine is as follows:
Three legged grumpy white Morag gets a scoop of nuts in a bucket with a dollop of cod-liver oil- while the others get a scoosh in the trough (6 scoops) quickly so they don’t all mug Morag for hers. I generally leave the second bucket for one of the other girls to relieve congestion at the trough.
Abbie has her little black calf, none of the others look imminent but hornless Moira or dun Holly look likeliest. There is an isolation pen inside the shed if a new mother needs to concentrate on baby.
Little Holly and Alice in the old shed get 2 scoops in the sheep trough, hay in your rack, and refreshed bedding. The chooks get a scoop of corn from the dustbin spread around the chookie house, and cocky the gimp gets let out last in case the Nog feels predatory. (All the girls will be lined up in the roof glaring at you with glittering eyes – so don’t need closing in or releasing).
The stotts on the hard (5 red and the wee dun) get 8 scoops. The gate can be left open when you head down to Angus Halfhorn and the two girls. These guys spend the day in the level field, mainly so that Alice can dry her sandcracked hooves – but are fed at the trough inside the Aspens, the deerfenced paddock. Angie has taken to dancing around in anticipation, be careful of sticky mud around the trough – it’s hard to get out the way!
That’s it – you’re done – apart from locking up cocky at night and refilling the rack for the wee girls.
All feeders contain silage – Billy and the mums will run out on Sunday – but I’ll be able to refill that night if necessary.
Now: the Art of the Nog. (Btw Calum is so impressed at your Nog handling – though the Nog thinks Calum is a wolf in crofter’s clothing- got a point I suppose)
The Nog will not follow you to the yard – he thinks it clever to cut across country. He will follow you down to the stotts and Angus, but expects to ride up from the Aspens gate (o dear o dear this is shameful) and then up to the road gate. Down the road back to the garage, he expects to be harried at speed while being abused loudly – be careful taking the bend below the house.
Good luck!



6 thoughts on “Uvie farm crib sheet for Alison

  1. Girl Friday Ali says:

    …about to head out on afternoon patrol before darkness falls. Uvie looks beautiful today in the snow and the Nog appears to have eaten an extra tin of magic beans by the look of his dancing! Will report on antics later…

    Dear B,
    1. If I knew where Somerset House was then I would be delighted to drop in to sip some champagne,.. alas something tells me it isn’t near Laggan but it might just be in Oxfordshire! I guess that would defeat the purpose of me farm sitting, but Roy sure would get a surprise!
    2. When the Wizard Laird told me he was away for a birthday bash, I didn’t realise it was his own!!! Now I have the return tools on birthdays (just missing the year).

    • Think the ‘Wizard Laird’ tag needs explained.
      I sent Ali a birthday card detailing not only the day but also the hour and minute. I briefly basked in her bafflement at my apparent super-sensory powers of intuition – until she remembered that I’d taken a sneeky peek at her birth certificate housed in a desk she’d given me for repair. Damn – it was nice while it lasted.

  2. Girl Friday Ali says:

    Back into the glow of the roundhouse and the arms of a hot tea brew while the fire and wine warm up….it is a Saturday after all, and of course Nog & I have to have something to toast someone’s birthday with!

    All quiet and peaceful on the ranch with only a muffle of contended silage snuffling, a bit of nostril puffing and blowing from maternal Abbie (to Nog when he got within sight of the gorgeous little fluff of her black bull calf who I naturally fell head over heels for.of course..) and the swish of powder snow to break the still. Oh, that and Nog’s insane-but-playful barking ringing across the strath 🙂

    Angus et al got a silage fluff up and Nog did 0-60 in 7 seconds on the way down. Cocky and Billy were all tucked up before dark (not together of course) and as I walked back the greylag gaggled their goodnight from the marsh and the moon lifted its face in a crystal clear sky across the snow. Looks like a cold night but a beauty!

    • Beautiful description, thank you. Love ‘the muffle of contented silage snuffling’ – they do get their noses right into the bale seeking the sweetness, creating little sockets like cheese. Also love the suggestion of Cocky and Billy snuggling up together – male bonding has nothing better!

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